1. |
To Dust
02:47
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The priest calls me to the back room
He wants to make sure that I repent
But forgiveness is not what I’m looking for
I just want to give the love (x 3)
That I can lend
To live would be an awfully big adventure
It’s a risk I have to take, oh I must
Get rid of the cacophony, all the banter
I won’t stop until I’m not dreaming (x 3)
And there’s only dust
Mama pulls me to the bathroom
And cuts off both my braids
She says what’s the point of beauty
He’s only gonna leave, he’s only gonna leave you
He’s only gonna leave you anyway
To live be would be an awfully big adventure
And it’s a risk I have to take, oh I must
Get rid of the cacophony, all the banter
I won’t stop until I’m not dreaming (x 3)
And there’s only dust
He pulls me to the bedroom
And that’s when his facade starts to fall
He leaves an empty shell of me
And I stay silent
Because I’d rather feel pain than nothing at all
To die would be an awfully big adventure
And it’s a risk I have to take, oh I must
I miss the cacophony, I miss the banter
I won’t stop until I am dreaming (x 3)
And there’s no more dust
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2. |
Kill All the Witnesses
03:49
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So you say that I’m your servant
Well that’s fine, that’s fine
I just hope you know that I’m observant
I’ve gotten under your skin, you’re mine
So you kill all the witnesses
‘Cause who wants to remember what they’ve seen
And I will project submissiveness
‘Cause who wants to say what they really mean
I just wait for you, I just wait, I just wait
I just wait for you, I just wait, I just wait
For you to figure out
Who’s in charge now
Well I hate to admit this
But I melt at the taste of your tongue
Who would’ve thought that you’d be
My only weakness
I constantly feel your hands at my throat
And no matter how much of my blood spills
I always say, “Don’t worry darling, I won’t choke”
Well you just look at me, you smile and say
Look how the tables have turned
You didn’t think it’d turn out this way
I just wait for you, I just wait, I just wait
I just wait for you, I just wait, I just wait
For you to figure out
Who’s in charge now
So you say that I’m your servant
Well why should I complain
‘Cause even though you hurt me
I still keep hoping that you’ll change
So you kill all the witnesses
But you leave me here to bleed
Now they don’t have to remember
but I will never forget what I’ve seen
I just wait for you, I just wait, I just wait
I just wait for you, I just wait, I just wait
For you to figure out
Who’s in charge now
Who’s in charge now
Who’s in charge now
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3. |
Glen's Song
02:43
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Are you sleeping
I’ve been keeping
An eye on you all night
The touch of
A scorned lover
Shouldn’t feel this right
I know that in the morning
Vulnerabilities will show
But until then
I can love you
And you won’t even know
Use my flesh
It’s the best that I can do
I know you’ll pretend
To want me too
I could be blind and numb
But darling what’s the use
I choose my sight
And the pain of losing you
My lungs fit in with yours
They’re gasping
For something more pure
Remembering that I’m going to die
Is the best way
For me to remind myself
You won’t won’t stay
Use my flesh
It’s the best that I can do
I know you’ll pretend
To want me too
I could be blind and numb
But darling what’s the use
I choose my sight
And the pain of losing you
Dawn is breaking
And I know soon
That you are gonna go
But for seconds I can love you
And you won’t even know
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4. |
Suddenly Still
03:56
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Baby you’ve got the kind of heart
That doesn’t have a beat
It only starts to start
When you’ve lost everything
It beats quicker and quicker and quicker until
All of a sudden
It’s suddenly still
Your soul’s just the messenger
The answer’s in your skin
And when I touch it
I feel it wearing thin
I scream louder and louder and louder
But alas
You’ve left me with nothing
But he clothes on my back
Baby I’ve got the kind of hands
That don’t stop pulling ’til the rope is gone
‘cause it’s my hope that you’ll prolong
We scream higher and higher
Until we both drown out
And that’s when
We realize
Our screams are our favorite sounds
I will love again
Maybe this time with a softer touch
That’s the beauty in love
It’s different
I’d rather bleed the wound
Than conceal the cut
You were wrong
Love is right
I won’t stop
’til my tears have dried
I will love again
I love again, suddenly still
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5. |
Sweet Submission
02:43
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Sweet submission
Let me ask did you kill your crown
Sweet recognition
Do I have to ask, if she kneeled down
But don’t you know that I, oh I,
I can’t let you go
I have only one question
Was I the only one you fooled
If I could get rid of these scratch marks
I would be so shiny and new
But don’t you know that I, oh I,
I can’t let you go
Late nights in the basement
Daddy teaching you how to fight
It was all fun and games
“til the bruises kept you up at night
But don’t you know that I, oh I,
I can’t let you go
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6. |
Icarus
05:21
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I have fallen for Icarus’ touch
On that cold broken night
He used me up
The empress's temperance tends to interrupt
The empress's temperance tends to interrupt
I am lucky
For I know how to picture the dead
In the cracks of the ceiling
And the rips in the bed
The wound becomes swollen
And starts to spread
You are slander
You are the pain in my side
That even with a lover’s kiss
Just won’t subside
When you left me the masks fell
And all the fools cried
When you left me the masks fell
And all the fools cried
Bring up the bodies, bring them to me
Break me in broad daylight
Where I can see
All the lines in your face
All the errors you’ve made
Bleed from your finger tips
As you open, open, open the cage
You are freedom
Trapped in a brown paper bag
You hold her for your sake
But your shoulders sag
You told me you were baptized
Blindfolded and gagged
You told me you were baptized
Blindfolded and gagged
I have fallen for a man who cannot see
Past the marrow of pride
Past the seething heat
His wings were what left him
Feeling incomplete
In his state he tasted godly
But sickly sweet
I am broken
Left to stagger downtown
Hushing my claims
In the drinks that will drown
All those images of Icarus
Falling down
All those images of Icarus
Falling down
Bring up his body
Bring it to me
Break me in broad daylight
Where I can see
All the lines in his face
All the errors he’s made
I bleed from my fingertips
As I open, open, open the cage
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7. |
Child Bride
04:08
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You question the fallen
You swallow their needs
And with those who have cracked
You do what you please
I lay on the cold stone
To see what I’ll find
You steal all my answers
And my aching spine
Is broken
Is broken
I pick at indifference
That’s laid in my skin
You leak out resentment
I keep mine within
I wait for the wanderer
He always comes
All of his promises
From when I was young
Are broken
Are broken
I look to the young girl
Strangled by braids
Her mother tied so tight
So she’d never age
I look to the lucid
I look for the boy
Whose cheekbones are aching
For some hint of joy
I seek for a lover
Who will heal my lungs
And hold my head and
Say they’re prod of all that I have done
I am broken
I am broken
You sit in the corner
And thing of your sins
You realize you’re sorry
For the pain that you’re in
You wait for the wandering
You watch and you see
A boy with cracked footsteps
Loving girls that he seeks
And you’re broken
You are broken
I look to the young girl
Strangled by braids
Her mother tied so tight
So she’d never age
I look to the young girl
She sits and she cries
For no one feels pity
For a child bride
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8. |
Silent Screams
02:25
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His mother always told him
To keep a cross held in his hand
She told him loving was like bleeding
He didn’t understand
That for him to tell his story
Hers needed to be told
All those silent nights of blinking tears back
Regretting how she’s grown
There should be nothing that rewards those
Who choose to sit and lie
But there’s something in the way he blinks
That makes her want to cry
‘Cause nothing can fix his illness
He lives to serve and then concave
He’s been told screaming won’t cure him
But he tries anyways
He remembers his father throwing
Pictures of his mother in the fire
And him saying let’s hope you never love
A cheater or a liar
And his father said his hand must be lucky
‘Cause he picked one who’s both
And the only thing that seems to console him
Is a burning in his throat
We are all stitched together
By the paths that we create
But this boy seems to be stitched up
In such an unfamiliar way
His parents say he’s human
But I’ve seen him, he doesn’t bleed
A lack of love has left him empty
Ripped out at the seams
His mother always told him
To keep his heart held in his hand
She told him, love someone
But don’t bleed them dry
He didn’t understand
That because she told his story
He’s been trapped and now he’s free
All those silent nights are gone with silent screams
All those silent nights are gone with silent screams
All those silent nights of holding back
Are gone with silent screams
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9. |
Caged Bird
03:05
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I know why the caged bird sings
Sometimes bleeding’s just not enough
I know you told me to stay away
From those things
But I’m just not strong enough
Mama used to read me tales
From the Arabian Nights
Even though I was big enough to carry her
I still wanted to cry
For all those lovers that were so blind
For all those places that got left behind
With you
So you tied the noose
You don’t even think twice
I just wish I could cut you loose
Of all that you sacrifice
So they bring up the bodies
And I’m in the dark
‘Cause I know I’ll have to claim the dead
I wish it was me instead
Of her
I wish it was me instead
With you
So we paint your faces happy
Leave them smiling just to keep us sane
But you don’t know how badly
I want you to see my suffering and pain
I know why the caged bird sings
Sometimes bleeding’s just not enough
I know why the caged bird sings
Her lover scorned her touch
Oh, I will never be enough
Oh, I could never be enough
For you
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10. |
Brown Eyed Daughter
03:41
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I’ve been noticing
That the spot in mother’s skirt
Never really seems to go away
When do we say
Anything worth saying
Would we even blink if the roof caught on fire
Without mother’s watchful eye
The talcum powder in the pantry
Has expired
Oh baby can’t you see
Oh baby can’t you see
I’m the brown eyed daughter
Of the men who were never really listening
I’m the brown eyed daughter
Of the man that never really could be
I’ve been noticing
That the stain in the rug
Never really seems to fade
No matter how hard I try
To get the smell out
It always seems to stay
The cradle’s gathering dust
And there’s water
On the floor
Every time I try to scream
It’s just a whisper
Nothing more
Oh baby can’t you see
Oh baby can’t you see
I’m the brown eyed daughter
Of the men who were never really listening
I’m the brown eyed daughter
Of the man that never really could be
I’m the brown eyed daughter
Of the man that just wanted to be
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11. |
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All my life, all my life
I twas taught that you were perfect
Well isn’t it funny that now that I’ve met you
Baby you’re worthless to me
But I bite my tongue and I hold my breath
‘Cause once you get into heaven
Life is so much more precious than death
Take me down
Take me down
I know you wanna save
Do you wanna be my baby
My Dear Lord
My Dear Lord
My…
So I toiled my life away for you
My unspoken god
But once I found the splinters
Baby, I knew your plan was flawed
But I bite my tongue and I start to chew
‘Cause what do you think
When your god doesn’t believe in you
Take me down
Take me down
I know you wanna save me
Do you wanna be my baby
My Dear Lord
My Dear Lord
So I pluck these strings
And I write these words
But darling for what
You know usually I can feel your emotion
But lately I can only feel your lack of love
And I know I’m lucky
Yes I know I am
But don’t forget that when you tried to drown me
Just to spite you I swam
Take me down
Take me down
I know you wanna save me
Do you wanna be my baby
My Dear Lord
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Lila Blue New York, New York
LILA BLUE (they/she) is a 23 year old non-binary and queer folk musician, singer-songwriter, playwright and performer based out of Brooklyn. Their projects navigate themes of grief, joy, intergenerational trauma, rage, queerness and collisions with divine and haunted spirits, stemming from their own intuitive practices. They've released 3 LP’s, 2 EP’s, with LP 4, SWEET PEA, arriving 11/10/23 ... more
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